You Oughtta Know

Mama, there's some things you oughtta know. Some things I wish someone would tell me, so I'm gonna tell you. Because helping you will help me. Let's help each other. 

You are enough. And you're doing a damn good job. 

Everyone, mom or not, needs to hear this. Having someone tell you this is incredible and lights you up from the inside out, but sadly, we don't get told it enough, if at all. So, you are enough and you're doing a damn good job. 


You've made mistakes, and that's totally ok. 

No one is perfect. And if their social media channels showcase their 'perfect' life just know it's all a front. Because let's face it, no one is perfect. 


You are an amazing mom. 

A DAMN. GOOD. AMAZING. MOM. And don't you forget it. 


There's no right or wrong way. 

Just do it your way. And make it up as you go if you need to, no one will ever know. You do you boo. 


Your parents are SO very proud of you and who you've become. 

They are. They really, really are. They look at you with admiration and a glow in their eyes at the woman, and mother, you've become. They just don't know how to verbalize it to you. 


Your child is lucky to have you as their mom. 

So. Very. Lucky. Even when you're pulling your hair out, crying alone in the bathroom just trying to poop alone, dreaming of that post-bedtime glass of wine. They're SO very lucky. 


You'll never know it all, and that's totally ok. 

Take a deep breath, think real quick, and go with your gut. 99% of the time you'll be all good. The other 1% you'll deal with it after. 


Drive the struggle bus. It humbles you. 

I drive this bad boy all.the.time. so hop on board with me and let's go for a ride. Hey, we'll even drink and drive together. 


Haters gonna hate no matter what you do. Eff them. 

No one tells you how women are the most judgey creatures on the planet. But judgey moms are THE WORST. They're always gonna be there, hating. So let them hate. They're just jealous. 


It's ok to ask for help. 

For whatever. To put groceries in your car so you can calm down a cranky toddler. For five minutes to yourself to breathe and catch a break. Heck, make it fifteen. To stop in a random aisle at Target to savor your hot cup of coffee while your baby naps in the carriage. For a hug because you feel like you need one. Just ask. It's ok. 


Cry. 

When you feel the urge, just let it out. All out. Because if you don't, and you hold it in, you're going to snap one day at the absolutely worst possible moment to snap. 


Being a mom is the hardest job you'll ever have. And also the best. 

The Mom Trifecta

I'm pretty sure you know exactly what I'm talking about but you've never been able to identify it. Or know what it's called. So I'm naming it for you right here, right now. You can thank me later. 

The Mom Trifecta. 

That beautiful relationship we ALL want with that amazing mom friend where the moms get along well, the dads get along well, and the kids get along well. And no one in the trifecta is a brat or an asshole. Seems easier than it is, doesn't it?! Well, it isn't. Trust me on this. 

Let's break it down. 

Before becoming a mom, all I wanted was mom friends. Making mom friends is like being in high school all over again. You think, hey, you just went through what I just went through therefore and had your body completely mangled to give birth to another human being, we have that common bond. Right? WRONG-O! Not all moms are the welcoming moms. Not all moms need friends.  Also, not all moms want 'new' friends. They want their old pre-mom friends and don't want to welcome anyone new into their group. Sound familiar? Sound like high school all over again? Well, it is. 

I was convinced that I'd join a baby music class or a sign language class or be strolling along the trail one day and there she'd be. In all her glory. THE mom friend. My new bestie. Surround by twinkling lights and her hair blowing perfectly in the breeze. {important to note: her messy bun would be blowing in the breeze and she'd still be in a nursing bra even though she was done nursing eight months ago because she was a hot mess just like me!} But then reality set in and that just wasn't happening. It was going to take work. Hard work. It was like being the new kid in school all over again and trying to see who meshed with you. Going into the cafeteria to sit down and pulling out a chair only to be told "you can't sit here" alllll over again. Ugh. Drama even in my late-30s.  

So, out we went. My son and I. Testing the waters, stroller bootcamp, music class, story time at the library, you name it, we were there. Out and about looking for members of my new tribe. I knew they were out there, I just had to find them. But boy, did it take work! It took trial and error. It took classes upon classes upon classes. BUT...

Eventually, I found them. THOSE friends. Those friends everyone wants to have. The ones who you know have your back. The ones who love your kid like they're your own. The ones who bring mimosas to the 9am playdate. The ones who you can text at 8am because you already are done with the day. The ones whose shoulder you can cry on and will listen and not judge. Yeah, THOSE moms. We clicked. We connected. My tribe was formed. 

But what came next was what I deem the "Mom Trifecta". 

Our kids get along + We get along + Our husbands get along = TRIFECTA

Hugs all around! 

The odds of that happening are slim to none. I mean, lets face it. That's hard. That's a lot of personalities, that's a lot of opinions, different parenting styles, different schedules, different rules and routines, different political views, that's just a LOT. I mean, really, it IS a LOT. 

Having a mom friend who gets you and you get her back is hard enough in and of itself. I mean, if you're a woman reading this, you're likely nodding and saying in your head "yup, totes get that!" Then factor in your kids getting along. And as babies is one thing but growing up together and surviving toddlerhood is a whole other ballgame people. Having those mom friends AND keeping those mom friends is work. But those trifecta relationships are SO worth it. 

But when you find it, relish in it. And enjoy it. Because you might only have one or two of those trifectas. But in all honesty, that's all you really need. I mean, when you want to get together to go out, it often takes WEEKS for schedules to mesh with one another. So imagine if there's four or five in your trifecta trying to get together. Ain't gonna happen.

I am so fortunate to know I have my very own Trifecta. We mesh. All of us. Our kids mesh well. The moms get along well, And the husbands can sit around and chat and there's no awkward feeling that someone is the odd man out. It's amazing when the stars align like that, isn't it?! 

Toddler Favorites

My toddler has recently been choosing his independent activities and going towards the same ones repeatedly, so I figured I'd share his choices with you!

1. The sensory bin

Presently, it is filled with beans, cups, and a few small trucks. 

This sensory bin was the BEST splurge I made in his three years. Seriously. Best part? It has a lid! Other best part? The bin easily comes out of the table leg frame to empty easily for simple change of scenery. 

Some recent sensory bin favorites have been pom poms with colored silicone cupcake liners for sorting, the beans you see below for dumping and pouring, and the ever-popular rice. 

2. Magnetic chalkboard wall. 

While this project took longer than I ever hoped to get done (a future post on that coming), it was completely worth it. Our half-wall in our kitchen was almost wasted space. One day, while scrolling Pinterest, I had a brilliant idea to make it a magnetic chalkboard wall. And here we are now, with an amazing area for him to be creative and artisitic! 

3. Painting

We have a collection of Crayola paint bottles and pull out an old ice cube tray when he gets the urge to pint. The Crayola collection comes in 12 bottles and literally lasts us YEARS. A little goes a long way, it's washable, and comes out of clothes and off of skin super easily. It might seem like a lot of money to spend on paint, but when you factor in the number of times you use it AND how easy it is to use, it's worth the $33. 

My mom hack of using an ice cube tray for a paint dish was quite popular on Instagram so figured I'd share here too! 

4. Sorting

While I kept his caps from his pouches for sorting activities early on, he LOVES his colored bears for sorting activities now. Maybe because they stand up? Maybe because he can talk to them? Who knows. But when he asks for his bears, I can't say no! 

He has colored cups to use as well as bowls and even silicone cupcakes liners. But I like to vary his methods and in February, he was all about hearts. So one, night, we busted out sorting bears into colored hearts! 

(and yes, he's still wearing his holiday jammies... this is a no judgement zone) 

5. Puzzles

While he enjoys his puzzles, I like to make them a little more complicated and utilize some higher-level thinking for him. So, I take the puzzles pieces off and hide them in a pan of rice. He then has to find the pieces in the rice THEN put them into the puzzle. Adding an extra step adds an extra level of thinking too!  

I know you might be thinking "RICE?! Are you CRAZY?!" Yes, I am. When we first started, I was cleaning up rice ALL.THE.TIME. But he learned over time and now, it isn't an issue. It takes consistency and practice and is SO worth it in the end. 

What activities does your toddler tend to choose when given the option? 

Friday Favorites: Book Series for Adolescent Boys

So, my dad called earlier this week asking for what books to get for my nephew who is turning 11. Which got me thinking that I haven't shared book suggestions in a while. As a former reading teacher (and elementary and middle school teacher) I have a HUGE adoration for all kinds of books, especially children's' and adolescent literature. Mainly because one of my Master's Degrees is that very subject! 

Anyways, here's what I recommended to him. And I chose series/sets to ease gift giving. Because, well, he's a man and he's old and it's easiest for him that way! 

1. Harry Potter set

Why? Because he doesn't have it yet and every adolescent needs to whole set. 

2. Chronicles of Narnia

By far my personal favorite series as a child and I adore passing that love onto the next generation to come. There's something just perfect about this classic. 

3. Jerry Spinelli

One of my favorite adolescent literature authors. Stargirl, just fantastic. And Amazing has a set of Jerry Spinelli books so why not expose him to all he has to offer?! 

4. Percy Jackson 

What boy doesn't love Percy Jackson and a mild thriller?! 

5. Alex Rider set 

This is a new one for me as it wasn't around when I was teaching but word on the street is it's the next big deal! 

What do you recommend to adolescent boys looking for a good book?

Toddler Mom Must Haves: Dining Out Edition

I take my toddler out a lot. And we got out to restaurants often. And people always ask us about what we have with us and where to get them. So, here's my top five things you need if you have a toddler and you plan to take them out to eat with you. 

1. Toddler Silverware

This little case from Sistema is a reusable set of silverware in a convenient travel case. It includes a fork, spoon, knife, and set of chopsticks. We have it in green but it comes in a variety of colors. I also roll up a disposable placemat (see below) to keep in the case as a just-in-case. You know, for those just-in-case moments we all tend to have. 

2. Disposable Placemats

My son is almost three and occasionally just prefers to eat off of the table versus a plate. I know you feel me mamas, right?! And the thought of food on a restaurant table when who knows it was last washed gives me the heebie-jeebies. Enter disposable placemats. I keep one folded up in his travel silverware case to use as needed but used to always have them in my diaper bag when he was little. Plus, it's peel and stick so when you're done and ready to leave, you've picked up a bit after your kid and left a small(er) mess! My son is presently on an Elmo and Mickey kick so we use these. Before we were using the shapes and colors ones. 

3. Snack N Shop

While this isn't for dining out, it is for being out! This snack tray has a lid that snaps on so you can fill it with your child's favorite snack and toss it in your bag. Then when you get to the store, put him in the cart, snap the snack tray on, and he'll be happy as can be! I don't know how I ran errands before without this! 

4. Lobster Seat

We received a Phil & Ted's Losbter Seat as a shower gift and I cannot recommend it enough. It folds flat, has a carry case, and is easily kept in your car. It clips onto almost any table and I actually use it often when my son and I bring my husband lunch at his office- and we clip it to his desk! Seriously, one of those million dollar ideas I wish I'd come up with! 

5. Busy Bag

I have what we call a "Busy Bag" of miscellaneous activities in my car for when we are out and about and in need of entertaining our toddler. We always have 3-5 different toys/games in the bag but recently put it all in a toddler backpack so he could carry it himself. 
I am transitioning from diaper bag back to purse (thank goodness!) and this has been a great way to diminish how much I carry. Plus, I got him a cute matching lunchbag that we keep his snacks in so he has practice using both of them before he goes to preschool.

My favorite toys/games to have on hand in his Busy Bag:

Plus Plus pieces and game board 
Travel size puzzle or Lace toys 
Dot markers (great to use on the back of restaurant placemats)
WikkiStix 
Mini trucks 

And we always always ALWAYS have books in the car and let him bring 1 or 2 into the restaurant with us. When he picks them, they tend to keep his interest more! Tonight, he read his truck book the entire time we were at dinner and did not need his busy bag once.

I hope these help you when going out with your toddler in tow! Have you used any of these before?!

I Am Not The Normal Blogger

There, I said it. And put it out to the internet for all to see. 

Seven years ago, I started blogging. And I use the term "blogging" loosely. I was not efficient with it. I did not take it seriously. I did not have a focus. I just rambled online because some teachers I worked with suggested it. Check out my very first post here. 

But, I have recently, over the past year, decided to get back into it as a way of expressing myself and having something to do. Mainly, I was looking for bloggers to follow who were like me and I struggled greatly with finding them. Most bloggers I found lived and had the picture-perfect life. Which I far from have, believe me. I also found they were all super tall, thin, had impeccable skin, fabulous hair, and looked like a model even before they walked out the door. Then, the self-doubt started to sink in. I am not tall, I do not look like a model, my hair is a hot mess almost every day, and I am as far from a model as one can be. I mean, I'm 4'10" tall and have a round shape. Let's be real. 

The more I thought about it, the more the doubt set in. I don't look like the average blogger. I don't talk like the average blogger. I don't decorate my house like the average blogger. I don't post like the average blogger. I don't style the shelves in my home to be featured in a magazine. I don't walk through the grocery store in over-the-knee boots while wearing a floppy hat and cashmere sweater. You'd walk past me 100 times over without even noticing me most days. 

But then I stopped. Why do I want to be average?! Why do I want to be like everyone else?! Sure, I take inspiration from other bloggers. I mean, who doesn't want the cute new booties from Target they're all wearing or have gorgeous front steps covered in mums and pumpkins styled oh-so-perfectly?! Don't we all?! But inspiration is different than becoming. 

Instagram was sucking my sense of identity from me. I was constantly looking for the next best outfit, the newest accessory for my house, the cutest new boots, eyelash extensions, but for what?! And why?! To be like everyone else?! I just can't anymore. 

I asked on my Instagram stories over the weekend a few questions to my followers. I asked about what kinds of pictures they want to see (staged or real life) and 99% said real life. I asked what kind of fashion pics people want to see (use what you already own or buy new) and 96% said use what you have. I asked if they wanted to see my family life as well as fashion and styling and 97% said yes. I asked if they found bloggers and influencers to be inauthentic and 99% said yes. And I finally asked about my #thisis40 challenge I made to myself and if they enjoyed it and 98% said yes! I found these answers enlightening and greatly assisted me in my newest decision. 

I am going to continue blogging and I hope that I appeal to you and your friends. And I am going to continue to be me, 150% me. Authentic and real and if I have spinach stuck in my teeth in a picture, so be it. That's what you're gonna get. I share style and fashion tips, fun restaurants that my friends, family and I discover, and lots of ins and outs of being a mom. 

I'm not your normal blogger. I'm your neighbor, your friend, the mom you see enjoying her coffee while strolling the aisles of Target with a messy bun and mismatched socks. I roll on the floor at MyGym with my toddler every week, I cry at stupid GE and AT&T commercials, I love to shop but savor a good deal. I don't wear makeup everyday, my pictures are taken in selfie mode or by my toddler, I wash my hair maybe once a week, and I do this "blogging thing" because I know there are others out there like me who just want to read tips and tidbits from a fellow "normal mom" and know it's ok to not be picture perfect day in and day out.

So, thank you for being here with me and enjoying my little blog I've got going here. I hope you'll stick around for a while and see where our life takes us. 

Family Pictures

A few times a year, we have a photographer snap some pictures for us. Whether we just use them as a background on our phones or frame them for our mantle or use them for holiday cards, I love having them done because I'm always the one behind the camera and I'm worried about not being IN them. Any other moms feel that way?!

So, my friend Jamie from Jamie Morel Photography snapped these of us this past week. I'd love to know what you think!

Do you have family pictures taken by a professional?! If so, what do YOU use them for?

And side note, how stinking cute is he?!!

Must Eat Monday: Bar Taco, Westport

Are you a Bar Taco fan?! If not, you have NO IDEA what you are missing out on. And as a mom of a toddler, I am always incredibly grateful for Bar Taco as they are family-friendly and their staff is exceptional with kids!

I learned something new this visit- I can order a kids guac and chips and there's no spice added to it! #winning over here with that! Then I got myself the tomatillo salsa and mixed it for me.

Little sticky fingers always has to have one more chip.

The Bar Taco location in Westport has the BEST views as it's right on the water. Just beware, their parking is minimal so you often have to park across the street then walk. But that view is totally worth it!

OK. The kids small tray is always more than enough food for more kids. They get a quesadilla, a taco of their choosing, a corn on the cob plus a fruit skewer and drink. WHAT?! And it's only $6. Why do get a happy meal when this meal makes everyone HAPPY!

I tend to stick with my one-of-each-method when we go for lunch because I usually end up eating some of his food too! But my favorites are the baja shrimp, the fish, and tuna lettuce wrap. I always try a secret taco and this time it's a marinated cod which is delectable. When we go back in two weeks, because I'm sure it'll happen, I'm getting 4 secret tacos!!

After lunch there, we also take a walk on their little boardwalk. But this week, we had a little dance party. Because, well, why not?! 

Have you been to Bar Taco yet?! 

Favorite Outfits

This week we've been incredibly busy and I share a daily outfit pic over on Instagram but figured I'd highlight my favorites from this week as people have been asking where to snag some of the pieces! 

We took family photos this week with my good friend, Jamie Morel, and I decided to wear a pop of color. Just a little out of my comfort zone but worth it. I forget how happy this dress makes me. And while it's a few years old, Zara seems to make classic yet trendy pieces that can stand the test of time!

Zara dress / Sam Edelman heels / JCrew necklace / Stella & Dot earrings 

When we hit up Fair Weather Acres this week, we had a little bit of a preppy feel going on I think. Ha! Would you agree?! These jeans I L-I-V-E in and cannot get enough of them. The interior waistband is elastic. Mom dream right there! And it was a bit chilly so I was finally able to bust out my favorite JCrew plaid scarf cape!

JCrew striped tee / JCrew plaid scarf / Wit and Wisdom jeans / Cole Haan driving mocs
Janie & Jack vest / Gymboree tee / Gymboree pants / Target shoes 

Do you ever find a piece of clothing in your closet that you totally forgot about and as soon as you put in on you ask yourself why you never wear it?! That is THIS piece for me. It's forever old from Ann Taylor but the belt sash adds a little something extra. Paired with white jeans and my Tory flats it's simple and classic for our family brunch date! And how fun are these VivianDrew earrings?!

White jeans / Navy top / Tory flats / Earrings 

When your two-year-old is becoming good at taking pictures, you let him snap pictures of you! We were out and about running errands and he snapped this one of me in my new favorite Stella & Dot top! How fun are the sleeve details?!

When you have a friend who lives 90 minutes away but you MUST see her often, you meet up halfway and visit different restaurants for lunch with your sidekick. This week, we went to Terrain in Westport and it is DIVINE. How cute are his crocs?! 

Top / Jeans / Camo flats 

His sweater / His pants / Crocs 

Sometimes I put on an outfit and feel confined and other times I put on an outfit and feel exceptionally comfortable. That is this outfit right here. Running errands in 80 degree heat, hitting up the park, and prepared to get down and dirty with a toddler means a tee and jeans. The American Eagle tomgirl jeans are LIFE. I promise.
And if you want 20% off your own American Eagle jeans, click here. My gift to you!

Tee / Jeans / Sandals 

And lastly, I never have any fun. I swear. I mean, look at my face. I look bored, right?! Ha ha! I got to spend some time this week with some of my Stella & Dot friends at a training and I figured why not be a pop of color in a room of neutrals! 

Cardigan / Blouse / Jeans / Camo flats / Belt 

I think it's safe to say I cover all bases in my "mom wardrobe", right?! I mean, I've got comfy cozy down pat, a pop of color here and there, a dress when needed, but always ready to chase my little guy around while being somewhat stylish with a smile! 

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