Sunday, November 6, 2011

Where to Find Love?

Dear NayNay,

Help me find love- where should I look so I won't find jerks?! And....... GO!


While Shannon asked me in different lingo (she called me Magic 8-ball), she does ask a load-bearing question that I get asked from so many people- where can I go to meet "the one". And my answer is simple- you'll never find them unless you stop looking. What do I mean? Well, here's my story of how I met my husband...

I was in a bad relationship that I wasn't happy in and decided to get out of it before I took a step that was way too far (yes, marriage). Upon doing that, I felt free. And I didn't want a relationship. Fast-forward six months and yes, I was lonely. I wanted someone to be around. not sure if I wanted a relationship or just a companion, but I did want something. I won't lie- it sucked going to the movies alone or always hanging out with girlfriends (don't take that the wrong way ladies, but it's nice to get dressed up and have some give you that "you look hot look"). Anyways, I had a posting on and had a few potentials. I sent a few messages out, went on a few dates, but nothing big. In fact, I didn't hear from a few people (little known trick is to use your match name as you aol name and you can contact people that way, but I had no idea...) So that was November. Now comes New Years Day and I had spent New Years Eve with my dad. Nothing against my dad but it was an eye-opener. Time to have more fun in my life. So I wrote an ad on craigslist (I do NOT suggest doing this now- this was almost seven years ago- and looking back I was so stupid!). I was myself- for those of you who know me, you can just imagine- and made it a list. I put 25 things on my list and asked that you not respond unless you had at least 20 of them. What was on it you might ask? Well... I wish I had kept that posting but it pretty much had some of the following:
A career, not just a job
Don't live at home (and living in your parent's basement with a separate door is still living at home
Likes sports, but not obsessed
Enjoys a good beer (and PBR is not a good beer)
Never been to Bellevue, never had a relative in Bellevue, don't know what Bellevue is
I received over 125 responses within a few days. So many responses, I had to take the ad down. And don't think I met that many amazing people. Believe me, I didn't. There were a TON of freaks! They immediately got a "thanks but no thanks". But I did meet a few nice guys, some I still am friends with, but I actually met my husband that way. Yes, I met my husband on craigslist.
Technically, we met on since I had sent him a message but since he wasn't a maying member, he couldn't read it. So yes, we met on craigslist.

Now Shannon, do I suggest doing this? NO! I do NOT! What do I suggest? Well, here are how a few of my friends who are happily involved with their significant other...

Nicole and Neil, who just got engaged (YAY!), met through me. I set them up. It all started with an idea of a Mixing and Mingling party I wanted to have. Invite all of your single friends over and have them bring another single friend with them- of the opposite sex preferably- and it's a simple backyard barbeque and everyone just hangs out. I've found that it's the relaxed atmosphere where people tend to hit it off the easiest.

Megan and Chris, they've been married for a few years, they were actually friends from high school and it developed (in their 20's) into a relationship. Love that one!

Darcy and David have been together since high school and while I know that might not be an option for you, it could be for another reader. =)

Amy and Jeff met at a bar. yes, at a bar. You can only imagine. And they broke every single "rule" you can imagine about dating. but they're married, have children, and have never been happier.

Dave's friends Andrew and Michelle met at a Wendy's at a rest area on the highway. Married, children, lah-dee-dah.

In a nutshell, my darling Shannon, you just never know. You could meet him at a bar, in Target, the grocery store, online, through a friend, at a party, in traffic. Heck, he could rear-end you like how my dad met his second wife, you just never know!

So my advice is to just get out there and have fun. You never know when you'll meet the right guy and odds are, once you stop looking, he'll drop right into your lap! But don't look up- he's not really going to fall from the sky! =)


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